(revised 25 February 2014 by Clinton Callahan)
YOUR POSSIBILITY TEAM!
I can't think of anything more fun than holding a weekly Possibility Team in the privacy of your own home with a small group of fellow edgeworkers. This is your own experimental practice space for building matrix.
Edgeworkers are pirate-types who through their own experience have come to realize that what was shown them by modern culture is not all there is. And even though they may be regarded suspiciously by their family and peers they persist in going to the world’s end beyond which stretches the unknown with the intention of learning to deal with whatever comes up inside of them so they can stay there and keep breathing in great gulps of fresh air from the void. Staying at the edge is all that is necessary to expand the edge.
Staying at the edge also bonds you to fellow edgeworkers in ways that few in modern culture can grasp. You rely more fiercely on a strange group of unrelated Possibility Team members for feedback and coaching than perhaps anyone you ever met. It is inexplicable, yet personally I find it to be one of the best uses of my life. These are the times I remember, the waking moments when entire systems of understanding inside of me melt down and may or may not come back together in a new form. The thing that I thought of as “me” may disappear, but the Possibility Managers are still there with whatever might show up as “me” next. How much closer can friends get?
Before this update of the Possibility Team Handbook was released there was a frequent misunderstanding about what Possibility Team is for. Some people have thought Possibility Team is about delivering the exercises and processes from Expand The Box training or from Possibility Labs.
This is not so!
In fact Possibility Team is the complement to Expand The Box training and Possibility Labs. The complement.
In other words, Possibility Team is to discover, explore, and practice implementing the many thousands of thoughtmaps, exercises, skills, and distinctions of Possibility Management that are NOT given in Expand The Box or Possibility Labs.
Possibility Team is your chance to discover how big Possibility Management actually is and to build practical experience using it on a weekly basis with feedback and coaching from your team.
Over and over again we hear from participants that Expand The Box and Possibility Labs are definitely necessary and fun, but where their lives really change is in Possibility Team.
To expand your repertoire of options for what can be done in a Possibility Team, I offer you this list of Possibility Team Possibilities. The breadth and depth of team interactions is breathless. In fact, one of the things you could do at a Possibility Team is read through this list together and decide what kinds of skills and experiences you would like to share together. Please do not limit yourself to only these ideas. Use them to spark your imagination to provide an ongoing variety of four-body matrix-building food for your people!
PS. Possibility #71 suggests that every Possibility Team is the seed-crystal for a new country! Find out what the culture of your new country is and move in! (For more on this see blog029 Design Your Own Culture And Move In)
Photos for the list below are not uploaded yet. This is a rough draft, just something to get started with. Have Fun!
STUDY THIS POSSIBILITIES LIST TOGETHER
Read over this list together and find out what your people are hungry for or has resistance about. Possibility Team is a kitchen in which you all come together and prepare and devour 4 body foods. Since physical and intellectual foods are abundant in modern culture, mostly what we long for are feeling body and energetic body foods. However, to keep things in 4 body balance, also keep including physical and intellectual foods. The mind needs to understand why feeling and energetic skills are needed, and the body needs to experience and apply the skills through practical actions. Without regularly enriching all 4 resources your Possibility Team won’t fly as well as it could. If your Possibility Team ever seems to not be flying, try adding more of one of the foods you have been avoiding.
Possibility Team is a place for archearchy to be lived. Of course in the 2 hours the experience of archearchy will be experimental and temporary, that is, at first. But the space is safe for unfolding the dynamics of a culture where the archetypal initiated adult feminine creatively collaborates with the archetypal initiated adult masculine. It won’t happen all at once, and it won’t be each time the same.
o Give yourselves space and time for the fundamental perspective shifts to happen. You have 20, 30, or 40 years of practice surviving in capitalistic patriarchal empire. It may take a few years to shift to living in archearchy. This is fine.
o When problems, conflicts, misunderstandings, or low dramas flare up, be grateful. These are liquid states. Each incident is a doorway through which the whole team can go to examine the differences between uninitiated often unconscious behaviors that we each inherited from the patriarchy and the newly initiated behaviors from archearchy.
o Talk together to figure out what archearchy feels like in all 4 bodies and teach each other how to bring archearchy to life in your Possibility Team, and eventually perhaps also into your daily lives.
o As an exercise you can sometimes arrange for the men to meet in one corner or a separate room from the women. In this way you facilitate the development of the uniqueness of women’s culture and men’s culture.
o MEN: EXIT THE PATRIARCHY One of the most difficult transitions is for the ex-patriarchal men to bond in men’s culture. This can more steadily begin if you request that the men themselves create a formidable energetic shift process for them to exit the patriarchy like fighting their way out of a cocoon or an eggshell into freedom of free space as a man. When the men were born they had to choose to join the patriarchy or die. If they joined the patriarchy they paid full price, that is, they sacrificed forever getting to be themselves. Exiting the patriarchy means breaking or terminating a formal life contract. It is big stuff, a new birth. Can the women and the whole team hold the space for the men to make this step towards growing up?
o Come to the next meeting dressed in archearchy clothes. Bring archearchy foods and have a dinner together of shared foods. After dinner do live archearchy music, improvisational stagework, transformational theater pieces, children’s circus, a series of Technopenuriaphobia (TPP) healing skills to practice, or do an archearchal men/women conversation, a mutual coaching session practicing relationship and communication skills, balance out the power of being and the power of doing, and so on.
PRACTICE POST OFFICE EXERCISES
These are exercises you can practice while standing in line at the Post Office. Before you do them at the Post Office, you can practice them at Possibility Team. Have people stand in pairs, both facing the same direction, one behind the other. The person in front is the one who generally starts:
- Turn around and ask the person behind you to exchange places with you. Make up a good enough reason or story that they do it happily.
- Speak with the person in front of you and ask to exchange places with them. Make up a good enough reason or story that they do it happily.
- Turn around and ask the person behind you if they can help you remember the words of a song. Choose a folk-song, or a childhood song, or if it is during certain holidays such as Christmas, then choose a Christmas Carol that most people might know. As they help you to get it, sing along with them, but make mistakes so they can correct you and teach it to you. When you get it right, proudly sing the song together in the Post Office line. Others may want to join in.
- Turn around and ask the person behind you if they would like to know the difference between their Box and their Being. When they say yes, start with telling them characteristics of their Box for about one minute. Then stop, change your way of seeing, then tell them qualities of their being.
- Turn around and tell the person behind you, "I need to practice my psychic reading skills. Could I do that with you?" If they say yes, then scan for their relationship possibilities, their talents, their hidden potentials, their value for other people, etc.
Turn around and tell the person behind you that you need to practice giving a one minute talk, and could they please give you some feedback and coaching about how to improve it? If they say yes, then give a short Possibility Speaking talk about patience, or about mutual care between citizens, or about how to think nonlinear thoughts, or about leadership. Then ask for their feedback and coaching, and just listen.
DISTILL YOUR DESTINY
Each of us has a set of three to five Bright Principles we are born to serve. Chapter 8 of the Conscious Feelings book gives exact instructions about how to distill each person’s destiny by answering the questions and extracting your Bright Principles out of your answers. Go through the process as a whole group and then help each person to distill and memorize their Bright Principles.
PRACTICE TPP HEALING SKILLS
TPP stands for Technopenuriaphobia and means the fear of the lack of technology. The word Technophobia, which means the fear of technology, was coined in about 1965. Just 40 years later we find ourselves experiencing the subtle but pervasive fear that modern technology might fail us in any moment (the elevator stops, the internet goes down, the car stops, the train does not come, the ATM might not work, the electric nose-hair cutter might break...) and we won't survive. This is because in modern culture we are born high up on a ladder of high-technology where we are focused on seeking "the good life," and the low-tech rungs below us are completely missing. This means we do not know how to live on planet Earth without modern technology. By putting in the rungs below us through learning low-tech skills, we gradually heal ourselves from TPP. This are superb skills to also learn along with your children.
As children we come to believe that heat comes from turning a valve, food comes from the refrigerator, hot and cold water comes from the faucet, light comes from flicking a switch, and money comes from ATM machines. Healing TPP requires installing the rungs below us to reconnect our life to Earth. There are many skills to remember, and through practicing them together we reconnect to each other. Here are some few examples:
o Practice shooting with a bow and arrow.
o Practice shooting with a slingshot.
o Bring in clothing and practice hand sewing to patch your clothes, sew up holes, replace buttons.
o Design and make your own shoes from recycled materials.
o Design and make your own next culture clothing.
o Dry and can food together.
o Make and use a solar oven or a solar cooker.
o Make paper. Make books.
o Shape and fire clay into pottery, plates, cups and bowls.
o Carve wooden spoons and using them to cook.
o Carving chopsticks and learning to use them (make sure you use oak, pine, hazel, ewe, fir, apple, maple, hickory (bucher)
o Identify local herbs and greens and use them in salads or soups.
o Practice using a boomerang.
o Practice using a sling (the David vs. Goliath stone thrower).
o Practice knife throwing.
o Bring your neighborhood together into a street potluck meal and music playing, singing and dancing day twice a year.
o Practice swordwork. (preferably in Japanese style with a bokken, wooden practice sword).
o Spin wool into yarn and weave cloth for winter capes or knit potholders or other practical household or clothing objects.
o Learn to make felt hats and cloth from wool.
o Grow flax and learn how to use the fibers for so many products: clothing, insulation, paper,
o Press and bottle fruit juices.
o Make soap.
o Grow wheat. Make bread.
o Grow a Possibility Team garden and eat it all.
o Plant trees together. Even in Germany which is green and forested there is room for a million trees every 10 meters along the country roadsides. You do not have to buy the trees. Go into any forest and there are millions of seedling trees that will die because of lack of sunlight and root space. Just transplant them to the side of the roads.
o Make and drink herbal teas.
o Make and try herbal salves and extracts.
o Learn to make fire five different ways without matches or lighters.
PRACTICE CENTERING EXERCISES
This possibility for your P-Team could be done as a warm-up for the first 20 minutes of each meeting. Invent centering exercises and practice a new one each week, e.g. centering in your feelings body, your energetic body, your physical body, and your intellectual body. Divide into teams of 2 and each team invent a new exercise. Then everybody get a new partner and learn each other's new centering exercise.
When you are centered then you are in your physical body and present with your emotional and energetic bodies. It is a great feeling and a great way to start your Possibility Team. Being centered is one of the 7 Core Skills of a Possibility Manager.
The most important centering skills for holding and navigating space seem to be emotional and energetic centering. Have each person make a list of the ways and circumstances under which they give their center away. Then in groups of 4 the other 3 people tell each person how they give their center away. Then change groups to new groups of 4. Then role-play or figure out the best exercises for each person to strengthen and build up whatever centering muscles are weakest for them.
GO ONLINE AND STUDY CURRENT REALITIES AND ACTIONS TOGETHEREdit
Spend the meeting all going online on the same computer and researching what these groups see is happening and what they are organizing as change initiatives. Ask each other what you can do to help them be more effective. Add other information links to this list. WASTE AND TOXICS:
Basel Action Network (BAN): www.ban.org
Chernobyl Cesium 137 Cloud http://www.irsn.fr/FR/popup/Pages/tchernobyl_video_nuage.aspx
ETC Group: www.etcgroup.org
Global Alliance for Incinerator Alternatives (GAIA): www.no-burn.org
Global Justice and Ecology Project: www.globaljusticeecology.org
Plastik Alarm: www.plastikalarm.com
The Story of Stuff: www.storyofstuff.com
Blue Planet Project: www.blueplanetproject.net
Polaris Institute: www.polarisinstitute.org/water
La Red Vida: www.laredvida.org
Food And Water Watch: www.foodandwaterwatch.org/water
Water Institute: www.oaecwater.org
The Greywater Guerrillas: www.greywaterguerrillas.com
BOX OF PRACTICESEdit
Keep a cardboard or wooden treasure box full of various objects at the Possibility Team house. Near the end of each Possibility Team, each person reach in and quickly pull out one object. The others quickly tell that person what they need to do with this object during the next week to practice what they most need to learn. For example, in the Practice Box could be a copy of the Conscious Feelings book by Clinton Callahan. If a person picks out that object, people might give them various practices such as:
1. Practice Centering by walking around your house for one hour each day doing whatever you do, cooking, eating, washing dishes, going up and down stairs, talking on the phone, dressing, using the toilet, all while keeping the book balanced on top of your head.
2. Practice Using Conscious Gremlin for Nonlinear Deal-Making by meeting with someone during the week and recommending the book so highly that they buy it from you for 20 Euros, then use the money to buy a new book from your local bookstore so that you have it in time to put back into the Practice Box at the next Possibility Team meeting.
3. Practice Public Speaking by choosing a short section from the book and reading it out loud, over and over again in the center of your local town, each time landing the distinctions in the space of the whole town ever more solidly.
4. Practice Navigating Space by choosing an exercise or experiment from the book and deliver a 2 hour workshop for 5 to 25 people during which time you all do the exercise or experiment together. You can find the people at an old people's home, waiting at the train station or airport, hanging around the town hall, a youth group, a church group, etc.
5. Practice Internet Communication Skills by quoting one short sentence from the book on your blog page and writing a blog about how this distinction changed or did not change your life, what you tried, what happened, what worked, what did not work, what you will try next time. You can have a free blog up and running in less that 5 minutes at www.wordpress.com, or www.blogger.com .
6. Practice Listening by bringing the book into a café, order a tea (or whatever), and sit in a central table and read the book. When an idea in the book strikes you, scan the café for who noticed that the idea in the book strikes you, then go directly over to them and tell them that you have his assignment from your Possibility Team, to share an idea from this book and then listen to what a person at a café thinks about the idea. Would they be willing to be that person? If no, simply say thank you, then try someone else until it works. It only takes a few minutes to listen to what the other person thinks about the idea.
7. And so on....
Additional objects for the Practice Box could include a large wooden spoon, a block of wood, a 50 Euro bill, a 5 meter long rope, a Beetles wig, an old shoe, a potato peeler, a large crystal, a scarf, a dried chicken foot, a magic wand, a brassiere, a package of dried Chinese dates (or other bizarre foods from an asian country), a big black feather from a crow, a deck of Possibility Cards (get them from Nicola Nagel www.viva-essenza.com), a meter of orange colored ribbon, a rabbit fur, a coffee mug, an old doll... you get the idea.
VERBAL REALITY VS. EXPERIENTIAL REALITY
Ongoingly making the distinction between being in Verbal Reality and being in Experiential Reality turns out to be much more important thatn we originally thought. Verbal reality is where words come first. If you cannot package an experience into a labeled category with a name ("kissing", "cat", "breathing" etc.) then the experience is not experienced. As soon as you give it a name, the experience is over. It is like a guessing game. As soon as you have named the thing, you have figured out the puzzle. Your mind concludes this is school and you have gotten the one right answer. In this way, your mind eats your life. Then you wait for the next test to see if you can figure out a name for it and get another right answer. Since earliest childhood and all through school we have been hammered into Verbal Reality: "This is a ball. A ball! Can you say ball?"). The personal cost of being imprisoned in Verbal Reality is so great, in terms of loss of the ongoing moment-to-moment experience of living, that limiting someone to Verbal Reality could almost be classified as evil.
Experiential Reality is where experience comes first, without words attached, no stories, no judgements, no opinions or explanations, no labels, just raw experience. And the experienced is permitted, welcomed, to stay raw and uncivilized, without words. Sense the full qualities of the experience. Then you have access to experiences in the world that there are no words for. Ask yourself, which is bigger? The world of all possible experiences? Or the world of experiences we have names for? The difference in size between these two worlds is "inconceivable." Exactly the point!
It is a necessary adulthood initiatory process to gain the skills involved in being able to consciously shift back and forth between Experiential Reality and Verbal Reality, and in addition to that, to learn to live in Experiential Reality the majority of the time, using words only when needed, but using them in a different way. In Verbal Reality words are used to classify, identify, label experience so that the experience ends and knowing takes over. The goal in Verbal Reality it so know, to understand. In Experiential Reality, the goal is to be present and to fully experience the ongoing and everchanging experiences. In Experiential Reality you use words for the purpose of poetically painting a compelling communication that lands in the other person's four bodies such that they too can have the experience. In Experiential Reality, words are a bridge of connection. In Verbal Reality, words are the walls of the Box.
Instructions for one excellent exercise to begin innerly navigating between Verbal Reality and Experiential Reality are in a document called Eat A Grape Initiation.
EMBRACE CULTURAL EVOLUTION
Read over the Map of the Present Epochal Culture Shift together. What do you think about what it says? How do you feel about what this implies? What is your role in the current evolution of human culture on planet Earth? How much do you serve your true role in the process? What is in the way of you playing a bigger part in the shift to sustainable human cultures? How can the Possibility Team help you gain a bold new life strategy?
UNHOOK FROM MONEY
Spend no money for an entire week and report back next meeting.
UNHOOK FROM COOKED FOOD
Eat only raw food for an entire week and report back.
UNHOOK FROM COFFEE TIME
Eat no sugar, coffee, or white flour for an entire week and report back.
UNHOOK FROM SEEING
Begin the meeting by putting on blindfolds. With the blindfolds on, cook and eat a simple meal together.
USE NEW SPAGHETTI RULES
Come together for a spaghetti dinner in a restaurant but with two rules: you can’t use eating utensils (no forks, spoons, etc.) and, you can’t feed yourself.
STRENGTHEN YOUR ATTENTION
Practice attention skills to strengthen your muscles of attention. E.g. hold your attention on a single object without it wavering for an entire minute. E.g. one person place a number of objects on a table and cover the table with a cloth, then pull the cloth back for two seconds and have people write down what they saw on the table.
SPLIT YOUR ATTENTION
Learn to split your attention and to put your attention on your energetic center. Then learn to split your attention and put your attention on your attention, and experience entering the waking state. How long can you stay in the waking state? What distracts you from splitting your attention so you fall back to sleep? Make a list of what distracts you for a 15 minute Waking State Walk.
USE YOUR POINT OF ORIGIN
Learn to place your point of origin (your energetic center) at the source of a thoughtmap from Possibility Management rather than in your mind. Deliver the thoughtmap from the space that is the source of the thoughtmap rather than from your mind or from memory.
STUDY THE POSSIBILITY MANAGER HANDBOOK
Read and study your Possibility Manager Handbook together. Do further research by experimenting and practicing together. Compare notes about what you learn.
Participate in a firewalking workshop together. For references, see the list of initiators at www.nextcultureinfo.org.
VISIT GUSTAV HOSSENFELDER
Go join Gustav Hossenfelder in 83209 Prien am Chiemsee, south Germany, together for an evening or for a one day workshop. Visit www.hossenfelder.de for schedule details. Tell him you are friends with Clinton and Marion Callahan and he will give you a “special” treatment!
PRACTICE DECLARING YOUR APPRECIATION
Declaring is one of our 3 core powers as human beings. (The other 2 powers are Choosing and Asking.) Through Declaring we proclaim what is so using “Is-Glue.” All day long we Declare what is so but for the most part our Declaring is unconscious. For example we say, This is impossible. I am tired. The weather is fabulous. It has to be this way. The meal was delicious. These shoes are nice. I don’t like it when you say that. And so on. The way we Declare something to be establishes the limits of how we can interact with it. For example, we don’t usually order the thing in a restaurant again after we said we hated it. We don’t usually work with a person again after we said we hate them. But we could work with them again if we made our powers of Declaration conscious. To practice consciously Declaring, sit across from each other in pairs. One person listens. The other person chooses any object in the room (such as a light switch, an odor, the fabric of a chair, a spot on the carpet, a vase) and proceeds to apply their Wand of Declaration using “Is-Glue” to tell three or four different stories about that object (This is wonderful because… This is horrible because… I am afraid of it because… I love it because… This has special value and can be used so and so… This has no value at all and is a problem because… etc.). Then they choose another object and continue declaring stories. Then change roles and the other person Declares their stories. Then go back to the first person and Practice using Declaring to say what you appreciate so much about the qualities of being of the person sitting across from you right now. Over and over for 4 minutes you look into their eyes and say, What I appreciate about you is… Not what they do. Not what they are wearing or the color of their hair or their eyes or their voice. What you appreciate arises from the person simply being, before they do anything. They have value from simply being there and you are appreciating that. Then reverse roles.
STUDY THE CONSCIOUS FEELINGS BOOK TOGETHER
Read and study the Conscious Feelings book together, practicing the exercises and skills. This produces amazing energetic food for the group because of what gets called into the space as you read this book out loud together. People can interrupt, ask questions, tell stories, relate experiences, but the focus is one person reading the book slowly and clearly out loud into the space and the others listening and going on the journey together.
EXPAND YOUR FEEDBACK AND COACHING SKILLS
Practice asking for feedback and coaching. Pair up or get in groups of 3, one person say, Please give me feedback and coaching about… and the others do possibility speaking giving an unending abundance of distinctions and practices for that person. Then rotate.
PRACTICE SETTING CONTEXT IN A SPACE
Practice establishing the possibility context that the Possibility Team functions. It is a very different space from the ordinary space of modern culture. Use the meeting space as a spaceship. Take turns setting up the possibility context at the beginning of the meeting so people can shift out of their daily life culture and into next culture, and give each other feedback and coaching for how they can do it better next time.
DO A PURPOSE CHECK-IN
Check-in to find the purpose of each person in the group for the evening. Ask people to report: My purpose for this evening is… Talk about how the team can include all of this diversity and meet each one’s purpose. Then do it.
FIND YOUR GREMLIN’S NAME
Ask each person to say the name of their Gremlin and memorize the Gremlin names of all the others. Divide up into pairs and sit across from your partner. Choose a theme if you want (such as Global Warming, children, sex, proper diet, earning money, etc.), and take turns having the following conversations:
o Between the two Gremlins for 3 minutes.
o Between one Gremlin and the other person as an Adult for 3 minutes, and then reverse for 3 minutes.
o Between the two Adults for three minutes.
What do you notice?
LOWERING YOUR NUMBNESS BAR
The Possibility Manager uses their clicker to get their center, make their grounding cord, make their private bubble of space, clean out the private bubble of space and fill it by tossing in a golden pearl of your own energy and information, then click their clicker again and make their work space, then call their Bright Principles into their work space. Now you are in first position as a Possibility Manager. Now ask your Client if they would like to do the experiment to lower their Numbness Bar even a little bit more? If they say yes, help navigate how far down they bring it. Do not do this too fast. Be gentle. Don’t try to lower your Numbness Bar too far or too quickly. Just one little step at a time is good enough. Whatever emotion comes up next, respect it, hear it, and deal with it. This may involve leading a process for that person.
DESIGN A NEXT-CULTURE SCHOOL CURRICULUM
Starting at 7 years old children can begin learning the basic distinctions and thoughtmaps from Possibility Management that prepare them for a lifelong path of archearchal adulthood initiatory processes that commence when they are about 15 years old. Spend a few Possibility Teams designing various programs and curricula for next culture schools. Working all together or in teams:
o Write articles about next culture schools.
o Make explanatory or instructive videos about next culture schools.
o Design projects and proposals around next culture schools.
o Deliver talks about next culture schools.
o Give workshops about next culture schools.
o Create an international conference about next culture schools.
o Write books about next culture schools.
o Deliver operas or theater pieces about next culture schools.
o Start your own Global Network of Archearchy School programs.
PRACTICE TELLING OTHERS ABOUT POSSIBILITY MANAGEMENT
Practice role playing talking to friends, colleagues, family or strangers about Possibility Management with feedback and coaching. Possibility Management is is not for everybody. Don't rescue people who are not interested to play in that game world.
STUDY RADIANT JOY BRILLIANT LOVE
Read and study Radiant Joy Brilliant Love together, practicing the exercises and skills.
LIVE IN YOUR OWN COUNTRY
Practice holding your cultural context even when others around you have a different cultural context. You do not have to agree or disagree with the others’ context. Simply notice and comment on the similarities, differences and distinctions between your culture and their culture to the other person. Be amazed about the abundance of possibilities and your power to choose what culture you live in. Be in awe of the power of choosing. Have respect for the other person’s choices, but also for your own! Practice this during the week and report back what you learn.
PRACTICE SAYING WHAT NEEDS TO BE SAID
As a whole group make a list of situations or circumstances where something needs to be said. This should be a rather comprehensive list, including such things as:
o Quitting a job
o Getting permission to homeschool your own child
o Someone has just littered
o Your wife is late to an appointment
o You have a resentment
o Someone is projecting someone else from their past onto you
o You are returning a defective product
o You are negotiating to buy land for an ecovillage
o Someone has succeeded
o You want to collaborate with someone in a project
o And so on.
Then get into groups of 4 and one person role plays who you need to talk to. Keep your center and practice saying what needs to be said while getting Go! Beep! Shift! Go! feedback and coaching from the others in your team. The coaching should also be about how linear or nonlinear your offers are, and how well you are being a Yes, and… by accepting their offers and making interesting offers in return.
STUDY THE HANDBOOK FOR CREATING ORDINARY RELATIONSHIP
During several meetings read the Handbook for Creating Ordinary Relationship (all 122 ways) from the book Radiant Joy Brilliant Love starting at page 38. Read each of the ways slowly and painfully, and discuss examples of how you do them and what other skills you might possibly learn instead.
FIND OUT WHICH “I” IS SPEAKING?
Use group intelligence to give each other feedback about which "I" is speaking when "he" is speaking. Is it his Box? Is it his Gremlin? Let him say it. Practicing staying conscious about which “I” is speaking and keep the different parts distinct.
DO A COMMITMENT CLEANOUT
Pair up in two rows A and B sitting across from each other in chairs, close together but not touching. Spaceholder says, Imagine that tomorrow morning we are going to put our money and our possessions in one pot and all move into one household together. Each person in Row A tell the person sitting across from you all the specific reasons why you could not commit to them. Do not be general. Be clear and precise with real-life examples. The other person just listen, or every now and then you can ask, Could you say more about that please? You have 4 minutes. Now switch roles. The people in Row B talk and Row A listens for 4 minutes. Now Row A all stand up, move one chair to your left and sit down again. If you are at the end of Row A or Row B then change to the opposite row, but each end person will at first have a time out session before their next session, and the chairs will circle around the room like a snake eating its own tail. This is Ouroboros. Afterwards, check in.
GIVE YOUR GREMLIN INTERESTING JOBS
Practice giving your Gremlin interesting jobs to do, such as being in meetings and contributing your true worth, or making contact with people your Box would not let you talk to. In the book Radiant Joy Brilliant Love (starting on page 366) there is a chapter about the Gremlin. Read that chapter out loud in one of your meetings and also the list of interesting jobs you could give your Gremlin to do (Practical Applications of Gremlin starting page 371). Create interesting homework for each person and then share in the next meeting about people's experiences.
STUDY VIDEOS FROM STUDY LIST
At each meeting watch one of the videos from the video study list in your Possibility Manager Handbook. Talk about what you learned. There is also a list of Films to See being built here in the Possibility Management Wiki.
STUDY YOUTUBE VIDEOS
Ask people to bring a list of the links from their favorite informative or humorous YouTube or Vimeo videos and watch them together.
STUDY TED TALKS
Watch a TED talk (www.ted.com) together and discuss them, for example:
Sir Kenneth Robinson: Schools Kill Creativity: http://www.ted.com/talks/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity.html
Sir Kenneth Robinson: Bring On the Learning Revolution:
Sir Kenneth Robinson: Leading a Learning Revolution:
Elizabeth Gilbert: Your Elusive Creative Genius: http://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius.html
Jane McGonigal: Gaming Can Make A Better World: http://www.ted.com/talks/jane_mcgonigal_gaming_can_make_a_better_world.html
RSA Animation of Kenneth Robinson’s Talk: Changing Educational Paradigms:
At YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDZFcDGpL4U
At Vimeo: http://vimeo.com/17439081
WATCH NCRTC VIDEO ADVENT CALENDARS
Watch the short advent calendar videos from the Next Culture News online at this link:
Adventskalendar 2009: http://www.nextculture.org/ADVENTSKALENDER-2009.212.0.html?&L=1
Adventskalendar 2010: http://www.nextculture.org/ADVENTSKALENDER-2010.381.0.html?&L=1
Hand draw close-up pencil portraits of each others’ faces. You will need to get sketching paper, drawing pencils and rubber erasers before you begin.
HAVE A HYPERNET CAFÉ
Have a Hypernet Café for the evening. This is a networking interaction with a specific format described in a one page handout you can download from (HERE)
PRACTICE HEART SPEAKING
Practice learning to let your heart speak. The heart can speak all by itself. Neurologists have found that half the heart’s tissue is neurons, brain cells. The heart speak in short simple sentences using feelings words, such as, “I feel angry because__________,” and “I love you because __________.” Without letting your heart speak all you get in your communications is mind muck.
DISCUSS HEART FOOD AND SOUL FOOD
Distinguish between heart food and soul food. What are the differences? What gives you heart food? What brings you soul food? You need both 100% heart food and 100% soul food, not 50 / 50.
PRACTICE POSSIBILITY LISTENING
Practice Possibility Listening with each other during check-in. The speakers speak about what is up for them at all levels of their life. The listeners hold a space of completely safe listening space into which the speaker can say anything. Each person gets 12 minutes to talk. In a bigger group break into smaller teams.
USE POSSIBILITY CARDS
(NOTE: You can get Possibility Cards in English or German from Next Culture Research & Training Center). Sit in circles of 5 or 6 people. Shuffle the cards. One person picks a card, reads the distinctions from the back of the card while people study the front of the card where the thoughtmap is shown. Then the person listens while the team gives them feedback and coaching about exactly why they chose this particular card just now. Have tissues and buckets ready.
Go outside in your neighborhood and sing to your neighbors. This is called caroling. Knock on someone’s door and sing an entire song to whoever answers the door, then bow together as a group, leave quietly without explanation, and go sing at another house.
Share about personal experiences with the vampire-like, energy-sucking arrangements we have made in our lives. Figure out ways to support each other to rid yourselves of parasites so you can use the energy usually devoured by parasites for delivering what you came here to deliver. Parasites can be of all four body types, that is, they can be:
o PHYSICAL PARASITES – such as addictions to sugar, intestinal infestations, possession of various physical objects about your home (attic, basement, closets, bottom drawers). Every object you possess possesses you, that is, it either gives you energy or sucks energy. Other physical parasites include lawns, pets, or more clothing or shoes than you wear in a week. You can help each other by meeting at one person’s house and going through every object in the house to decide to get rid of it or keep it. Then the next week go to another person’s house. Fasting and cleanses such as the Liver Cleanse are also ways to rid yourself of physical parasites. (For liver cleanse info see the video at: http://www.nextculture.org/Next-Culture-News-8.395.0.html?&L=1)
o INTELLECTUAL PARASITES – such as beliefs, opinions, conclusions, concepts, prejudices, assumptions, expectations, and so on. Voices in your head are intellectual parasites. You can use your Voice Blaster to eliminate voices in your head, expectations, images of what might or might not happen in the near future, etc.
o EMOTIONAL PARASITES – particularly the 3 kinds of emotions:
§ GREMLIN EMOTIONS (emotions that arise in the service of your Gremlin’s Hidden Purposes so it can feed on Low Dramas). Remember, the emotions feel just like feelings: you feel angry, sad, glad, or scared. But with emotions the purpose is underworld, and they last in your body longer than 3 minutes.
§ INCOMPLETE EMOTIONS from the past causing you to project other times places and people onto your current reality so you are not in relationship with current reality.
§ EXTERNAL AUTHORITY EMOTIONS such as from corporations (see the DVD of the Corporations in Our Heads work by David Diamond of Theatre for Living in Vancouver, Canada www.headlinestheatre.ca) for trying to create brand loyalty and product necessity. External Authority Emotions also come from religions, parents, teachers, political organizations, gang rules, cultural mores or holiday customs, medical doctrines, etc.
o ENERGETIC PARASITES – such as your job, your neighbors, or social pressures. Anything that takes you away from doing what you came here to do, or burdens you with identity confusions is an energetic parasite. For example, thoughtforms that come from others – whenever they like you, they feel afraid of you, they judge you, they compete with you, they hate you, they are jealous of you, people unconsciously send out a thoughtform that sticks onto and weighs down your energetic body. You can protect yourself from thoughtforms by keeping a clear center, grounding cord and bubble. The bubble functions as a lightening rod so the thoughtforms go directly into the Earth and do not glom onto your energetic body.
PRACTICE TOGETHER SITTING
Most sitting practices have originated in eastern societies that tend towards being communal in nature, so the meditation practices need to strengthen the individual personae. This is why they have you sit alone in a cave. In contrast, western cultures tend towards rugged individualism, so western sitting practices should strengthen connecting and collaborating in bonded relationships. For this reason a relational form of meditation called Together Sitting is described on pages 403-404 in Radiant Joy Brilliant Love (also in the glossary on page 513). In Together Sitting two people face each other as close as possible without physical contact, look into each other’s eyes for 20 minutes without having a staring contest (not trying to see who can stare the longest without blinking), and while sitting together you both energetically navigate to undefendedness. These are exact instructions. During Together Sitting you may experience Countenance, which is the physical experience of archetypal love through one person encountering archetypal love through the other person. In Countenance, archetypal love becomes consciousness. This is an amazing and repeatable experience, a service to the universe that generates an abundance of radiantly yellow stuff in the world. (What is yellow stuff? It is what archetypal love shows up like in the physical or manifest world. Yellow stuff feels very different from the cold sticky heaviness of hopelessness or the hot broken insanity of resentment, for example.)
Arrange to perform a Mini Requiem for either a death or divorce or success or completion that has happened for the people in your Possibility Team. There is a description of Requiem in the book Radiant Joy Brilliant Love on pages 474 to 475. A typical Requiem might last 3 days, but Possibility Team is only a couple hours long, so you can either arrange a special time for a full Requiem or create a Mini-Requiem for yourselves.
SCAVENGER HUNT FOR NON-THINGS
Make a long list of non-physical things to get, such as an opinion, a belief, a concept, the experience of a hug, the memory of a dream, a story about your mother, something you admire and respect about your father, a deep secret wish, a vision for your future, a cynicism, a discontentment, a hidden competing commitment, an appreciation, a regret, a remorse, an inspiration, a distrust, a trust, a misunderstanding, a doubt, an intuition, a distinction, a rule of the house, a dissatisfaction, a worry, a lack of faith, a memory of a punishment, a disenchantment, a small personal success story, a protective stance, a loss of innocence, and so on. A really long list. Then divide up into teams of 2, give each team a copy of this list, and instruct the teams to go out around your neighborhood for two hours, trying to collect as many of these non-things as possible. Each team needs to document the treasures they collect in some way, such as with writing, photos, video, voice recording, etc. This is a service to the neighborhood, something like garbage collecting, scavenging burdens, bringing muck to consciousness and listening to it completely with Possibility Listening, “as-ising” it. Hearing the message fulfills the mission of the message so it no longer has the possibility of staying around in that person’s field. The more non-things we collect the more everyone wins. This is a Winning Happening game.
There are 6 kinds of speaking: 1) Normal Neurotic Speaking, 3) Adult Speaking, 2) Discussion (between 1 and 3 – easily distinguished as either Normal Neurotic Speaking or Adult Speaking, 4) Possibility Speaking – speaking as a space connected to the Bright Principle of Possibility, 5) Discovery Speaking – a navigated group taking an exploratory journey into different spaces for a specific purpose or to answer a specific question, and 6) Dragon Speaking. Dragon Speaking is like spitting fire. It is hot, personal and impersonal, relentless, whole-hearted, full risk, sword of clarity out, voice blaster out, full commitment to what you are saying, withholding nothing, adapting to nothing, full-on volume with all 4 feelings each in their pure form (not mixed) for the benefit of all beings everywhere. Use Dragon Speaking to ask for what you want. (When you serve the space, then asking for what you want is asking for what the space wants.)
To warm up for Dragon Speaking it helps to sing out loud standing in a circle together as a group. A wonderful song to use for Dragon Speaking warm-ups is Utopia by Alanis Morissette on her album Under Rug Swept. You can download this song as an MP3 file for about one Euro from Amazon.com at this link: http://www.amazon.com/Utopia/dp/B001QP5QV6/ref=sr_1_1?s=dmusic&ie=UTF8&qid=1384505963&sr=1-1&keywords=utopia+alanis+morissette.
After the warm-up people in pairs go up onto the “stage” and practice Dragon Speaking. Your soul knows what to say, what you should have said a long time ago, what always needs to be said. The audience only listens.
Each one of us is not alive accidentally. We are alive because whatever our forefathers and foremothers did was successful. Often times success means that in circumstances where most people might do one thing, our ancestors did something different, probably they did something nonlinear, courageous, and intelligent. Perhaps they themselves did not even recognize the heroic nature of their actions when they made those important decisions that led the future we presently inhabit. But by looking back your family heroes become visible. Please take 15 minutes now to write down a list of some of the heroes in your ancestry, their names, and their actions. Write down what you appreciate about what they did or stopped doing. Write down similarities between the choices and actions they made and the choices and actions you are making. These family heroes can serve as role models for you and give you something solid to stand on as you do your work in the world. We will go around the circle and each person can tell us about the heroes who have made it possible for you to be here in this Possibility Team.
A reminding factor is an unusual physical condition (or a typical condition used in an unusual way) to cause the user to remember that they have a key to get through a doorway into a different space no matter what space they currently inhabit. For example, in Possibility Management at your first Possibility Lab we give you a purified and empowered Possibility Stone to use as a reminding factor that you have the possibility at any given moment to shift identity into being a Possibility Manager, at which time you gain instant access to the tools, distinctions and processes of Possibility Management. The Possibility Stone only works, however, if you carry it around on your body, which is a nuisance. This is how reminding factors work: they irritate you. The moment they stop bothering you they lose their power as a reminding factor because you forget they are there and the choice option of being a Possibility Manager or being awake vanishes from your awareness. Another favorite Possibility Management reminding factor is carrying a mini-voice-blaster. This reminds you to use your real voice-blaster in your Possibility Tool Belt.
Reminding factors can be string tied around the finger, an attitude, a posture, a body movement, a word or phrase, a wrongly worn item of clothing such as a tie worn backwards, wearing mismatched shoes, wearing your undergarments outside of other clothing, wearing a swimming suit in church, dragging a piece of wood around behind you on a string, carrying a wooden Japanese bokken practice sword in your belt through the shopping zone, drawing a mole on your face to remind you when people stare at it, coloring one fingernail purple, etc. Any of these and many more can remind you to make edgework experiments in that moment, such as to not interrupt someone else, to remember your Archetypal Lineage, to keep your center, to locate your Gremlin, to detect your own purpose, etc.
A more subtle but even more useful reminding factor is going through a doorway. That is, each time you step through a doorway (for example a car door, a store entrance door, a room door, an elevator door) you are going from one space to another space. The transition from one space to another usually knocks people unconscious. By going through the door you forget the space you were just in and immediately identify with the gameworld of the new space you enter without bringing any nonlinear possibilities with you, such as the possibility of also being a Possibility Manager in the next space. With practice you can use the doorway itself as a reminding factor to stay awake, that is, to place your attention on your attention and be aware of what you are aware of so that you enter the waking state as you enter each new space.
Note: Those are exact instructions. It could be part of your Possibility Team to practice entering the waking state. Each person get with a partner. One person listens as a space. The other person repeats over and over out loud the following sentence: “What I am aware of right now is _____________.”
What you are aware that you are aware of changes each few seconds. For example, you might say, “What I am aware of right now is the warmth and pressure of the chair on my butt. What I am aware of right now is the calm sound of my voice. What I am aware of right now is seeing the color and texture of your shirt.” And so on, each time referring to a different quality of sensation, memory, feeling, temperature, sound, taste, thought, and so on.
As soon as the speaker notices the space shift to the waking state they put their finger in the air. After 10 minutes switch roles. Once people can enter the waking state, have them take a 15 minute silent walk outside and count the number of times they fall asleep in those ten minutes, and what triggers them falling to sleep, and what triggers them waking up again. This practice is unspeakably important in the life of a Possibility Manager.
Bring your Possibility Team members to the center of the shopping zone in your local neighborhood on a Saturday or Sunday morning and spread out in twos or threes and do whatever you can to beg for money. Play music on instruments, act like totally broken and helpless victims, act mentally insane, do a juggling or theatre piece. Dress in your regular clothes. Come back together after four hours, tell stories about what you learned, count the money, divide it into three piles, and give it to three “real” beggars that you saw out on the street with you.
SHIFT FROM VERBAL REALITY TO EXPERIENTIAL REALITY
[Prepare for this Possibility Meeting by having enough fresh grapes or enough cut up apple pieces such that each person can have two. Keep them on a plate to the side and out of view of everyone.] Begin the meeting by reading through and discussing pages 60-61 in the Conscious Feelings book.
o Then ask for a man to volunteer and come up to the front of the room with you. Do the demonstration with him as described on pages 62-64, so he starts off in verbal reality and in front of everyone experiences this shift from verbal reality to experiential reality. Give this some time to sink in for everyone.
o Then say, Please divide up into pairs and sit across from each other. Please do not speak. Silently pass out two pieces of fruit to each person.
o Then say, Please pretend as if you are in a restaurant together in the usual verbal reality, with opinions, gossiping, making jokes, thinking out loud about things. In verbal reality, words come first. Now in verbal reality, eat the grape.
o Then say, Okay, one person please tell the other person what just happened in verbal reality. (The answer takes about 5 seconds: “I ate a grape.”) Now the other person say it. Thank you.
o Then say, The experience has been named and put in a known shoe box. End of story.
o Then say, Please all stand up, spin around, and as you sit back down shift out of verbal reality into experiential reality, where there are no words, where experience comes first. Place the second piece of fruit in the palm of one hand and see it for the first time, as if you have never seen anything like this before. As if you have no name for it. Please use all 15 of your senses, take your time, notice each detail while you have the whole experience of eating that thing.
o This eating alone may take 5 minutes. After that time say, One person in each pair put your hand up. Thank you. The other person listens. You start at the beginning of the experience, put new word combinations together so as to build experiential phrases that become a bridge to convey your experience of eating the fruit directly into the other person’s body, and say what happened.
o Give them 3 minutes, then say, Please come to a stop and change roles. The other person use experiential reality to say what happened.
o After a couple minutes say, Thank you. (Pause.) As babies and at school we were hammered into a verbal reality prison. People wanted us to talk, spell, read, write. For this we were rewarded. Now as adults we can exit the vocabulary prison and enter a bigger world, a world that we do not need to have words for in order to experience it. We can actually spend most of our time in experiential reality, without names, labels, interpretations or meanings. We can use verbal reality as a tool only when necessary. What is bigger? The world we have names for? Or the world? Which do you want to live in?
o The Possibility Team can be used to catch each other in the old prison.
o Then say, Please get a new partner and sit across from each other.
o When they are settled down say, Please have a 10 minute interaction conversation with each other in experiential reality. Which does not mean you do not speak but that the speaking come after or parallel to the direct experience.
STUDY THE ARTICLE HEALING WITH CLARITY
This article is full of distinctions and can lead to great clarity about some Possibility Management basics. The article can be downloaded:
PRACTICE USING PM TOOLBELT TOOLS
Your Possibility Manager Handbook has excellent descriptions of each of the PM Toolbelt Tools. Divide into pairs and use the descriptions to develop an exercise to practice using one of the tools in both linear and nonlinear ways. (15 minutes) Each week have people create a new exercise to practice with a different tool:
o Possibility Stone
o Your Watch
o Beep! Book
o Belt Buckle
o Is-Glue Dissolver
o Bag of Things
o Sword of Clarity
o Voice Blaster
o Low Drama (Gremlin) Detector
o Possibility Paintbrush
o Disk of Nothing
o Wand of Declaration
o Map of the Great Labyrinth of Spaces
o Grounding Cord and Bubble
DO RELATIONSHIP ROLE PLAYS
Each person has a chance to interact with their partner on stage with feedback and coaching from the team (or their ex-partner) (or their future partner) (or their child, parent, boss, neighbor, sibling, or colleague) to clear off charge, complete communications, and improve relationship skills. Relationship is ongoing actions of nonlinear creation. For men especially, the nonlinear part is crucial. If what you will do or say next is predictable by your partner they are already bored and the relationship is dead, so coach men especially for the nonlinearity level of their communications. The rest of the team who is not role playing says Go! or Beep! in real-time with precise coaching about what to try next to get better results.
PRACTICE ASKING FOR WHAT YOU WANT
This is a role-play exercise in groups of 3 or 4. One person is the Possibility Manager and asks someone else to role play a person close to them in their life, such as their child, parent, partner, boss, neighbor, colleague, sibling, etc. The third (and fourth) participants are Go! Beep! Shift! Go! real-time feedback coaches. The Possibility Manager practices saying what they want in various circumstances. The coaching should be about the clarity, authenticity, and simplicity of speaking.
o Saying what you want is very different from making a boundary. Asking for what you want is only about you. Making a boundary is about what other people may do or must stop doing. When you ask for what you want, you change because you consciously reveal yourself. When you make a boundary, the world changes. Your boundary gives the world a new shape because you make a regulation that was not there before. There can be no question about your boundary because it is a boundary. A boundary is finished when it is made. Saying what you want is simply stating who you are.
o In saying what you want it is important to be clear about which “you” is doing the wanting – is it your Gremlin? Is it your Box? Is it your family custom? Is it your mother? Is it a corporate program? Is it your Bright Principle? Your archetypal lineage? Your intuition?
o In order to say what you want you must first admit to yourself what you want. This can be scary because what you want may be unreasonable. It may break your parent’s rules. It may be bigger than you can imagine. It may even be commonly regarded as impossible. But at least if you publicly admit that this indeed is what you want, then at least you can stop lying to yourself about what you want! Once you publicly ask for what you want you can stop using your energy to manipulate yourself into pretending it is not what you want. You accept a part of yourself you may have been denying for a long time. You get your power back by saying what you want.
o After you admit what you want you can decide if you want to do that or not. Deciding not to do it does not affect that part of you that wants it. At least that part of yourself has been heard and respected.
o By saying what you want it does not mean that you will get what you want. On the other hand, by not saying what you want it pretty much assures that you won’t get it. What you want may benefit the whole world. For this reason I have begun to publicly say more often what I want. For example, I want corporate personhood to be outlawed. I want the large parasitic governments to fall apart completely. I want there to be an evolving meshwork of ten million unique, sustainable cultures in the world, each one centered around adulthood initiatory processes. I want no franchises permitted, no currency exchange-rates between the cultures, no absentee ownership, and no representation. Does this mean I will get those things? Who knows? But it does mean I get to be clear about what I want. And that clarity guides my actions, because if I am moment-to-moment taking actions to create what I want then even washing the dishes becomes fabulously fulfilling because it is a step towards creating what I want.
o Saying “I want…” is different from saying, “I wish…” or “I would like…” or asking for what you want as in, “Can I ...?” or, “May I…?” or, “Wouldn’t it be better if…?”
o Saying what you want is different from saying what you want other people to do, to stop doing, or to change. This is about you. What is it that you want?
o Saying what you want is different from saying what you don’t want. When someone constantly announces what they don’t want it quickly grows wearisome and even shattering. “Okay, so that’s what you DON’T want. But what DO you want?”
o Saying what you want is different from saying what you need. When you ask for what you need you have a good reason that is backing you up, namely, that you need it. In other words, the reason because I need it has the power in your request, not you. You are hoping the other person agrees about the importance of your good reason, because if they do then they must submit themselves to your reason. But then the reason has the power and not you.
PRACTICE SAYING NO! AND STOP!
The clearly pronounced words No! and Stop! may not be part of your standard vocabulary. If you are asked a Yes or No question are you able to simply say No, without justification, compensation, or explanation? If you cannot say No, then any Yes that you say is a lie. This exercise is practicing saying No! and Stop!
o Sit facing one another. The other person gives you commands, such as: Stand up! Give me your wallet! Look out the window! Shake my hand! Your job is to say, No. Each time you smile, or do what they commanded, or comment, or joke, or look away, the other person says, Beep! You smiled! (or whatever you did) Shift! Start again. After some time change roles.
o Stand facing one another from about five meters distance. The other person begins walking slowly towards you. Your job is to say, Stop! Take one step backwards! Come forwards! Stop! Come slowly! Stop! Come quickly! Stop! and so on until you get it that you can use your voice to be in control of your space and the distance between you and the other person. This heals deep childhood wounds, so there may be emotions coming up with associated old decisions. Once people are clear about their old decisions they can make new decisions.
o When the other person is standing close to you, you can say, Bring your right hand close to me left shoulder. Stop! Pull you hand away. Stop! Touch my left shoulder with one finger of your right hand. Stop! Take the finger away. And so on, all the way up to saying, Hug me gently! Stop! Stand back! Come forwards and hug me again! Squeeze harder! Stop! This also is a deep and important healing process of getting the power of your voice back regarding physical intimacies.
o Now you stand alone facing the whole group. The group starts moving towards you. You say, Stop! They stop only when your communication lands in their body. Let each person stand alone facing the group. Many old issues can come up and get healed this way. This is a super exercise for Possibility Team.
PRACTICE SPARK EDGEWORK EXPERIMENTS
S.P.A.R.K. stands for Specific Practical Applications of Radical Knowledge. As of this writing there are 137 SPARKs published in both German and English, with one in Hebrew and one in Chinese! Soon there will be 156 SPARKs, which you could study together one each week for 3 years! Each SPARK includes at least one and often more experiments for you to practice together with feedback and coaching from your Possibility Team mates. Try the practice of choosing a SPARK at random rather than letting your Box or Gremlin influence which SPARK you choose.
PRACTICE CREATIVE NEGOTIATIONS
So often what we want is not what is happening, because what is happening is the status quo, and the status quo is generated out of modern culture’s Standard Human Interaction Thoughtware. So either we submit ourselves to the default circumstances given to us, or we reinvent what is possible.
o Reinvention is a set of powerful skills that should be applied tenderly and with compassion, or your efforts will be rejected perhaps with violent defense of the ordinary. Applying reinvention tenderly involves creative negotiation skills. These involve Keeping Your Center, Connecting, Holding and Navigating Space, Being With, Committing To Do Something Before You Know How To Do It, Possibility Listening, Possibility Speaking, Making Conscious Use Of Your Gremlin For Going Nonlinear, and Putting Reference-Stakes Into New Territories.
o We will use this Possibility Team to practice, practice, practice these skills together using everyone’s intelligence for feedback and coaching.
o Arrange role-plays and stage-work to keep developing each others’ skills. This is Winning Happening, because as each person gets it better, the whole Possibility Team wins.
o This is also edgework that builds matrix, because you work at the edge of what you can do. Beyond the edge is the unknown. Stay at the edge. You can tell you are at the edge because there is just a little bit of fear. Use your fear to navigate yourself to the edge.
o One hint is to begin by listening to find out what the other person is committed to. If you make conscious and visible your commitment to what the other person is committed to, suddenly you are both on the same team. Then your negotiations move away from each person trying to get what they want (I win, you lose, survival desperation) to creative collaboration so that the greatest winning happens overall.
o Get used to making outrageous arrangements with each other using new-made circumstances that were not contained in the original conversation. For example, if he wants to go to the movie and you want to make a movie, then work out making a movie of him going to the movie. Or, if she doesn’t want to go to school and leave you, and you want to work, then take your work to her school, or bring her school to your work, or bring in other people with the same situation and create a work school, or, or, or.
INTENSIFY AWARENESS OF SUBTLE FEELINGS
By lowering your Numbness Bar gradually over some months you gain ever greater access to you subtle feelings. Subtle feelings are anger, sadness, fear and joy experienced as less than 10% of maximum archetypal intensity. Low intensity feelings are happening all day every day about everything. Find this out together.
o This is a short low-intensity feelings check-in exercise. Sit in a circle. You say, I feel 0% to10% (be precise) mad, sad, glad or scared because_____________. The % should be less than 10% intense for this check-in. Bigger percentages of feelings usually indicate an emotional healing process is in order. Remember: Emotions are not a design error. They are not a mistake. They are energy and information for you to use to fulfill your destiny. Emotions are for healing things. Feelings are for handling things.
o Get in dyads facing each other in chairs. You point to any object in the room, for example, a knot hole in a piece of wooden furniture, or a book, and then:
§ You ask, What do you think about this object? The other person tells you their thought.
§ Then you ask, What do you feel about this object? The other person tells you what percent of which feeling they feel.
§ You ask, Why? They tell you an association story.
§ You ask, So, is this a feeling or an emotion? (At least for the first five years of feelings work it is always an emotion.)
§ Could you also feel (one of the other feelings: mad, sad, glad or scared) about this?
§ Is this a feelings or emotion? (Emotion).
§ Repeat the last three questions until they have felt all 4 emotions about this one object. Then you ask, So, you are telling me that you can feel mad, sad, glad or scared about this object?
§ Which did you choose to feel first?
§ (They remember and tell you.)
§ How does choosing to have that emotion about this object first serve your Box? (They tell you a bit about their Box strategy.)
o This is Phase 1 of feelings work: taking radical responsibility for your feelings. You cannot do Phase 2 of feelings work – using your feelings for high drama – before you do Phase 1 of feelings work.
o Review the 10 steps in Phase 1 of Feelings Work. In particular, review the different and specific physical manifestations of each of the four feelings as they get more intense. Learn them and practice them together.
MEN ON STAGE / WOMEN ON STAGE
One by one a man goes on stage and says what it is for him to be a man. He has 3 minutes to speak. One by one then the women go on the stage and say what it is for them to be a woman.
Read over together the section in Conscious Feelings about expanding into your four bodies, pages 47-55. Review the Map of Four Bodies. List for each body examples of that body’s food, pain, ecstasy, and liquid states. Start being more clear about the kind of liquid states you are having, which body they are in. Have a check-in circle about what is changing in which body with what kind of liquid states.
MAP OF THE PATH OF TRANSFORMATION
The thoughtmap below shows how society and school teach us how to survive in modern culture, and if we steadfastly follow that path there may be a chance we achieve modern culture’s definition of success, that is, money in the bank, nice house, a car, two kids, and retirement in Florida. However, if in your years from 18 to 40 you begin seriously asking questions such as, Who am I? What is living (in comparison with merely surviving…)? What else is there that I could be doing right now? What am I really here for? It is a delicate time. Your earnest work with the questions may give you the chance to leave away cultural baggage and go through the eye of a needle into a new world, the archetypal path of transformation, where the goal and the path are one. This Possibility Team is a chance for people to discuss the path of adulthood initiatory processes and to share their personal stories. Go three rounds around the circle. Ask people: 1) How did you come to the path? 2) Where are you on the path now? 3) We are a Possibility Team. What can we do to support each other to take our next step on the path?
Ordinarily the adult human body allows you to perceive and interact with an entire multidimensional field of nonlinear occurrences. But as a child you may have installed a kind of governor that blocks the massive flow of possibilities for perceiving and creating. We have noticed that about 10% of people have inserted a box-like mind-machine between the ears and the brain, or between the brain and the mouth as a childhood survival strategy. The strategy is non-aggressive and works excellently. Under certain shocks or stresses the mind-machine is triggered and produces a specific effect which temporarily disempowers you in the eyes of an antagonist. If you are perceived as not dangerous then they don’t have to kill you. Then you are safe. However, since the mind-machine effectively cuts you off from environmental feedback you are out of relationship and your Box does not change. This prevents you from getting initiated into adulthood. Finding and disengaging mind-machines is an adulthood initiatory process. You need a team to help you do this. A Possibility Team is perfect. The team can see and experience what is going on from the outside and help you prepare for the initiation. Mind-machines can be classified according to their action. The five mind-machines so far classified are explained below in the ear-brain location. The explanation equally applies in the brain-mouth location: (Note: If you discover more mind-machine varieties, please let us know!)
o TIME DELAY: Words come in your ears, go into your mind-machine and then pause for five to fifteen seconds before they go to your brain. By then your response is so delayed that you cannot respond to current circumstances. This makes you not dangerous so they don’t have to kill you.
o CONFUSION: Words come in your ears, go into your mind-machine and get seriously scrambled. The resultant word salad gets sent to your brain. You cannot understand what was said. You stand there confused and therefore not dangerous so they don’t have to kill you.
o CRAZY: Words come in your ears, go into your mind-machine and get cut into different segments, each given a completely new interpretation. The senseless edit is sent on to your brain. Your response is so disconnected from the original input that you seem to be crazy, so they don’t have to kill you.
o THE FOG: Words come in your ears, go into your mind-machine and immediately get lost in a thick fog. You can’t even find the words anymore. What you hear is like a fog-horn on a cold moonless night. HOOOOOOOOOOOONGGG .Almost nothing gets passed on to your brain. You do not react at all, so they don’t have to kill you.
o CONCEPT FORM: Words come in your ears, go into your mind-machine and are squeezed into an already known and solidified set of concepts even if they don’t fit. Using dogmatic thinking and canned phrases allows give the impression that you are participating in life, but there is actually nobody home, so you are not dangerous, so they don’t have to kill you. This can be an effective strategy for, say, recovering from a stroke, but no way to live.
Performing the self-surgery is simple. Once you have identified the specific form of mind-machine you may be using and discover under what conditions you installed it and the benefits it has provided you for all these years, you gain a new option. It is the option of inserting a wire that bypasses your mind-machine. The new option is present because during the interim years since you installed the mind-machine to protect you, you have learned many new things. You now have a voice, a center, your feelings, your attention, your bubble and grounding cord, your sword of clarity, your disk of nothing and other Possibility Management tools, and so on. The mind-machine may no longer be necessary for your well being. Should you decide to install the bypass it proves to be a quick-acting, astonishingly effective, and fun kind of self-surgery that can easily be reversed if you ever decide you want the mind-machine back in order. If you have already decided to do the surgery you can do it now when someone slowly and firmly reads you these
MIND-MACHINE BYPASS SURGERY INSTRUCTIONS: (about 20 minutes)
o Sit comfortably in a chair or on a cushion on the floor.
o Close your eyes.
o Take a deep breath and moment to quiet yourself, focus and relax.
o Wash your hand in sterile soap solution and rinse them off.
o Shake them dry.
o Take another deep breath.
o Reach up with both hands and unzip the top of your head from one side, around the front to the other side. Zzzzzzziiiiiiipppp! The top of your head can now lift open like the hood of a car.
o Lift up the top of your head.
o See the mind-machine. It is like a little box. It is located either between your ears and your brain (this is most common), or between your brain and your mouth. At the count of three please say out loud where your mind-machine is located. 1. 2. 3.
o Thank you.
o Take another deep breath.
o Great. Now notice the connections between your ears and the mind-machine box and between the box and your brain (or between your brain and the box and your mouth). Gently reach in with your fingers and move aside things so the connections are exposed.
o Now reach onto your workbench and snip off a piece of brain wire that is long enough to go from the input connection around the mind-machine to the output connection.
o Use your soldering iron to attach one end of the wire to the input side. Zzzzzzzzztttttttt! Now attach the other end of the wire to the output side. Zzzzzzzzttttttttt! Let the connections cool down.
o Put the soldering iron back on your work bench.
o Gently tug on the bypass wire to see if the connections are solid. They usually are. If it happens to break, then solder it again and test it again. It will be a good solid wire connection.
o Now it is easier for information to bypass your mind-machine than it is to go through the mind-machine. There is less resistance going through the wire. This is called short-circuiting your mind-machine.
o Take another deep breath, please.
o Good. Now carefully pack your brain back in and gently close the lid of your head and zip it back up. Zzzzzzzzzziiiiiippp!
o Pick up a jar of healing cream from your work bench. At the count of 3 please say out loud what color your healing cream is. 1. 2. 3.
o Thank you.
o Dig out a big scoop of healing cream and smooth it over the zipper.
o Now wash your hands again and shake them dry.
o Please take another deep breath.
o Now slowly open your eyes.
o Congratulations on your brain surgery.
o Now let’s test the bypass.
At this point the space holder should clearly ask each person direct, simple, personal questions, such as: What is your telephone number? How old are you? What sort of work do you do? What is your boundary about men? These questions are not meant to trick or fool the person, but rather to show them that their response is now very different from before. The mind-machine is bypassed.
PRACTICE MEETING TECHNOLOGIES
Next culture meetings are not modeled on the adversarial, top-down, hierarchical power structures of patriarchal empire. Instead modern culture capitalizes on bottom-up group intelligence in circular, concentric, toroidal, spiral or ouroboros power structures using parallel play, where all intelligences get to contribute their genius simultaneously. If modern culture makes group decisions using unanimous, authoritarian or majority vote, next culture boasts at least ten additional decision-making processes to choose from, each making use of four-body wisdom. The list below is not detailed enough that you could expect to implement any of the new meeting technologies – each deserves an entire book that is not yet written… (wink, wink, nod, nod, …hint, …hint). However, some of the Possibility Trainers are already making their living delivering these processes to groups and organizations around the world, so if you want to try one at your Possibility Team, ask the Trainer Guild for support. They can help you make a M.E.S.S. (Mayan Extraordinary Synergy System), Frying Pan, The Problem Is The Solution, Phoenix Process, Wisdom Council, Holacracy, Open Space, and so on. Nonlinear meeting technologies are the TVs, the movies, and the computer games of the future by providing effective group decisions along with healing and initiatory processes, plus engaging entertainment and high level fun.
MAP OF SECOND COPERNICAN REVOLUTION
Read over pages 182-187 in the Conscious Feelings book together, where it discusses the Second Copernican Revolution happening in the awareness of human beings now. Where are you personally in this shift? Where is your family? How far shifted is your company? How could your daily lifestyle evolve to reflect a clearer understanding of the Second Copernican Revolution? What would a shifted-to-next-culture village look like? How would it operate with regards to food production? Shelter? Politics? Economics? Transportation? Health? Schooling? Clothing? Energy? Customs and ceremonies? Choose a couple of these themes and document your research in drawings and notes. Could you imagine putting your resources together with these people in your Possibility Team and starting a sustainable culture village? What would the benefits be? What would the challenges be?
CONSCIOUS GREMLIN FEEDING
Read through pages 68-86 in Conscious Feelings, and / or 366-372 in Radiant Joy Brilliant Love together. Gremlin is not bad. Gremlin is Gremlin, that part of each person dedicated to serving shadow principles, specifically your hidden purpose. A number of adulthood initiatory processes focus on taking possession of your Gremlin, because whatever part of your Gremlin you don’t own, owns you. Unconscious Gremlin feeds on your intimacies with those around you in low dramas, and also eats whatever and whenever it wants (alcohol, action videos, junk food, cigarettes, marijuana, computer sex, stealing, lying, betraying, being betrayed, being superior, holding resentments, plotting revenge, self-hatred, gambling in the stock market or online, sneaking (for example: hoping its favorite foods are not mentioned on this list…), overshopping, cynicism, leaving messes, speeding, being rude, being loud, being late to appointments, criticizing, blaming, gossip, being a victim, rescuing, and so on). One aspect of putting your Gremlin on a short chain is learning his name. (Just ask, What is your name? and then listen. Tell other people his name.) Another aspect of putting your Gremlin on a short chain is feeding him consciously. Write a list of all your Gremlin’s favorite foods. This can take a week or two. Then share them at the next Possibility Team. Choose 5 of the listed foods that you are willing to pay the price of him eating, and choose one regular time each week to feed him as much as he wants of these foods, not before and not after. Tell your Possibility Team which 5 foods you feed your Gremlin, and when the feeding time is. Get into teams of 3 or 4 and practice giving your Gremlin interesting jobs to do that your Box can’t handle.
MAKE YOUR OWN COUNTRY
Every Possibility Team is a seed for a new country. This actually means being your own culture, but the space holding needed to be a unique culture (or gameworld) emerging from a clear context, is the same level of space holding to establish your own country.
There is a popular concept that a country needs to be connected to a defined piece of land on Earth. The concept is easy to understand, but has no relationship to reality. It is merely a concept. Just because you can understand a concept does not mean that concept has any relationship to reality.
Check-in: Who chooses which concepts you submit yourself to?
SHARE ABOUT YOUR FAMILY AND RELATIONSHIP
Do you have a family? How is it going?
Are the interactions between you and your partner, you and your children, your partner and your children, mostly consisting of logistics? Did you finish your homework? When is school over today? Have you paid the taxes? Did you pack your lunch? Are all your dirty clothes in the laundry basket? Should I pick you up at seven? Who is taking care of shopping?
What percentage of the time are you doing logistics and what percentage of the time are you creating 4 body intimacies with each other?